Life can be a very lonely and isolating journey. Because of this one fact, your relationship with yourself becomes the cornerstone of how your life turns out.
Despite being the most impactful figure in our own lives, many of us have damaged this relationship. We often mistreat ourselves: self-neglect, self-criticism, and even self-hate—I know I did for a really long time.
But it doesn’t have to stay this way. By focusing on four simple yet powerful strategies you can build a relationship with yourself that is rooted in compassion and care. It’s about showing up for yourself in the way you truly deserve.
Why Your Relationship With Yourself Matters
When I say “the relationship with yourself,” I’m not talking about empty self-care slogans or fleeting moments of indulgence. I’m talking about truly showing up for yourself, the way you would for someone you love.
No one else will ever know your inner world like you do, your fears, your dreams, your pain. No one else will walk with you from your first breath to your last. That makes you the most impactful person in your own life. And it’s why nurturing this relationship is so vital.
Start by Being Present for Yourself
Imagine visiting a friend who never looks up from their phone, who half-listens when you speak. That’s what we often do to ourselves.
Commit to giving yourself five minutes of undivided attention every day. Sit with your thoughts and feelings without distractions. It might feel uncomfortable at first, like meeting a stranger but it’s the first step to building trust.
Meet Your Needs Without Delay
We all have a habit of postponing breaks, meals, or moments of rest, especially when life feels overwhelming. But delaying these basic needs sends a message to yourself: You’re not a priority.
Start small, drink water when you’re thirsty, and rest when you’re tired. Over time, these acts of respect and care will strengthen your sense of self-worth.
Don’t Withhold Praise
Too often, we confuse humility with self-degradation. It’s essential even to acknowledge when you’ve done something well.
Celebrate the small victories no one else sees, like resisting a destructive habit or showing up for another day. These moments matter, and so do you.
Validate Your Feelings
It’s easy to brush off your emotions, telling yourself to “toughen up” or comparing your struggles to others’. But your feelings are real, and they deserve your attention.
Listen to yourself with empathy, as you would a friend. Acknowledge that your experiences and responses make sense, even if no one else understands them.
I have shared practical ways to rebuild this essential relationship. You can watch it here.
- Scott
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