Self-sabotage is a misunderstood - and routinely misapplied - label that gets slapped onto any moment of struggle. It’s basically become a lazy explanation for setbacks, and it does us a lot of damage.
It’s easy to assume that when you make progress and suddenly start slipping, you’re self-sabotaging - this assumption increases for depression and self-sabotaging. I’ve heard this from many people, most of the time that’s not what’s happening.
Here’s the truth, in most of these situations you’re not doing it on purpose. You’re not trying to undo your progress. It’s probably not self-sabotage.
What is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage is a conscious, intentional decision to undo your own progress. Most people aren't intentionally derailing their progress; they're victims of poor habits and strategies.
If you’re not deliberately putting obstacles in your path, it’s not self-sabotage. It’s that simple.
Over-monitoring symptoms:
You’re on high alert, watching every single sign of anxiety or depression like a hawk. A single moment of sadness, or a quick heartbeat, and suddenly you’re convinced the whole thing is failing. The more you focus on these symptoms, the bigger they seem. It’s not sabotage—it’s an overreaction.
Making changes too fast:
You get tired of being stuck, so you overhaul your entire life in one go. Maybe you’ve been out of work for months, and suddenly you’re diving into a 40-hour work week. That level of change isn’t sustainable without building up the proper foundation first.
Not making room for setbacks:
Whether it’s something external, like a breakup, or internal, like a sudden depressive episode, setbacks happen. They’re part of the journey, not a sign of failure. Labelling them as sabotage just adds unnecessary blame.
If you’re truly self-sabotaging—making intentional moves to undermine yourself—ask yourself: why does getting better feel so uncomfortable?
Here's how to move forward:
Be a good scientist:
Your negative thoughts are theories, not facts. Test them by putting yourself in situations where you could be wrong.
Stop contaminating your data:
If you intentionally mess up a good situation, you'll never know what could have happened.
Allow for the possibility of being wrong:
Give yourself the chance to gather new, potentially contradictory information about your capabilities.
Remember, every thought in your head is just a projection. It feels true, but it's not a fact until you test it.
- Scott
Want practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered right to you every week?
Resources.
Sleep Aid
Reduce the anxiety associated with falling asleep in just 15 minutes a night.
(Partner link)
Depression Relief
Comprehensive in-home depression relief that gets to the core of your depression - without antidepressants.
Use code SCOTTE100 to get $100 off
(Partner link)
My Book
For those suffering with depression and feeling unseen and helpless, I wrote this for you - because I was you.
Get my book, For When Everything is Burning
Games and Apps
Check out this mobile video game scientifically proven to help with symptoms of depression and anxiety.
(Partner link)
Comments