The Truth about Your 'Lost Years'
Chronic mental illness is a thief. Not just of joy and connection, but of your past, present, and future. Those periods of life where everything feels stagnant or even regressive; the thoughts you’re having right now, the sacrifices you’re making. Much of your life has been stolen from you - these feel like 'Lost Years.'
These painful stretches are not your fault; they’re a natural outcome of battling chronic mental illness. I know this because I’ve lived it. My own decade-long struggle taught me a profound truth: recovery begins when we stop blaming ourselves.
This condition isn’t your fault. You didn’t choose it, you didn’t earn it, and most likely you’ve been unequipped to deal with it.
I’m going to give you some tools to help change your reality.
Opposite Action (DBT Intervention)
Managing mental illness often requires us to do the opposite of what our minds tell us to do. When your brain insists you stay in bed, you may need to get up and take a walk. When it tells you to isolate, the connection can be the antidote. It’s counterintuitive, exhausting, and deeply unfair but it’s the way forward. And learning this doesn’t come naturally. It takes time, grace, and a lot of trial and error.
For years, I blamed myself for not knowing how to fix what felt broken. I saw those years of struggle as evidence of failure. But they weren’t failures. They were years of survival.
When your emotions—the very fuel needed to navigate life—are drained or distorted, it’s no wonder progress feels impossible. Expecting yourself to thrive in that state is like expecting someone to sprint on an empty tank.
The turning point came when I let go of self-blame. That’s when I started taking small, deliberate steps forward. Those steps weren’t easy, but they became easier when I stopped holding myself to an impossible standard of perfection.
If this resonates with you, know that your “lost years” do not define your worth. They are not evidence of failure, but of resilience—proof that you’ve weathered storms most people can’t even imagine.
I’ve shared more about this journey in a video where I explain why those years don’t diminish your value and offer practical steps for moving forward. You can watch it here.
- Scott
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Thank you, still fighting my battle and always feel that I'm wasting my life being ill, that instead I could have enjoyed my younger years in a better way, if only I would have put more effort. I feel I failed it, but from now I'll try to see it in a different way.