I know the feeling all too well:
You're trapped in the relentless grip of depression or anxiety, and well-meaning loved ones keep offering the same hollow "advice" - "just be positive," "look on the bright side," or the ever-popular "cheer up."
It's infuriating, isn't it?
These empty platitudes don't just fail to help - they often make the situation worse. Yet this misguided approach to mental health seems to have become the cultural norm. And we, the ones suffering in silence, end up feeling even more misunderstood and alone.
The truth is, commanding yourself or others to simply "choose happiness" is about as effective as willing a broken bone to heal. It fails to recognize the complex neurological and psychological factors underlying conditions like depression and anxiety. It dismisses your very real pain and implies that you're somehow responsible for your own suffering. That's the last thing someone in the throes of a mental health crisis needs to hear.
Your emotions don't work that way. As a human, you don't have the ability to selectively experience certain feelings - your emotional states arise from a tangled web of factors largely outside your control. If you feel like you experience anything I've mentioned here, this video could help you shine a light on it.
Trying to force yourself into a different mood often backfires, making you feel more frustrated and hopeless. It's like trying to hold back the tide - the harder you push, the more the darkness rushes in.
So how do you stop white-knuckling your way out of depression and anxiety? By building the right habits and environments to support your mental wellbeing.
Things like:
Prioritizing self-care through healthy sleep, nutrition, and exercise
Engaging in activities that bring you a sense of purpose or joy (even if the joy feels fleeting at first)
Cultivating a support network of understanding friends and loved ones
Working with a mental health professional who truly "gets" what you're going through
These strategies don't promise to magically "fix" our struggles. But they do give you more influence over the factors shaping your emotional landscape. Over time, they can create the conditions for sustainable healing and growth.
Your mental health journey is your own.
- Scott
Want practical tools for navigating life with depression and anxiety, delivered right to you every week?
Resources.
Sleep Aid
If you struggle with sleep, your mental health is going to suffer. Sleep Reset can help you get better sleep, naturally - I highly recommend.
(Partner link)
Depression Relief
Comprehensive in-home depression relief that gets to the core of your depression - without antidepressants.
(Partner link)
My Book
For those suffering with depression and feeling unseen and helpless, I wrote this for you - because I was you.
Get my book, For When Everything is Burning.
Games and Apps
Are you a gamer? Check out this mobile video game scientifically proven to help with symptoms of depression and anxiety.
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