It’s easy to feel like everything else in life is more important than taking care of yourself. Jobs, kids, bills, relationships—they all demand your attention, and by the time you’ve handled everything else, there’s often nothing left for you.

You settle for scraps of time and energy, if there are any at all. And let’s be honest, some days, there just aren’t. This pattern of putting yourself last isn’t just exhausting; it’s unsustainable.

Why You Put Yourself Last

I’ve spent years working with people who struggle with this, especially in high-stress environments like healthcare. What I’ve learned is that this tendency to prioritize everyone and everything over yourself often stems from childhood.

As a kid, you’re naturally self-centered—it’s how you’re wired. But over time, the messages you hear (“Life isn’t all about you” or “Stop being so selfish”) can become internalized. You swing to the opposite extreme, believing that caring for yourself is selfish or unimportant.

But here’s the truth: You are not less important than anyone else. And taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. In fact, it’s the foundation for everything else in your life.

What Is Aggressive Self-Care?

That’s why I want to introduce you to the idea of aggressive self-care. It’s not about bubble baths or spa days (though those are nice). It’s about treating yourself with the same level of care and respect you’d give to someone you’re responsible for—because you are responsible for yourself.

Think about it: If you were caring for a child or an elderly loved one, you’d make sure they ate well, rested, and had what they needed to thrive. Why should it be any different for you?

Aggressive self-care means prioritizing the basics:

1. Competence

Pursue something that matters to you. Whether it’s a creative passion, a skill, or a cause, having a sense of purpose is vital.

2. Connection

Reach out to someone you care about every day. Connection doesn’t have to be in person, but it needs to be meaningful.

3. Brain and Body Care

Get enough sleep, eat consistently, move your body, and be mindful of what you put into it. Your mental health is directly tied to your physical health.

These aren’t luxuries; they’re necessities. And when you prioritize them, you create a foundation that allows you to show up better for everything else in your life.

My Own Journey with Self-Care

I know this isn’t easy. I’ve been there. There was a time in my life when I had to step back and focus on getting these basics in order. It wasn’t glamorous, but it changed everything. Once I had that foundation, I was able to move through the world in a completely different way.

Watch the video below to learn more about how to move through these difficult feelings and build a life where you’re not constantly running on empty.

-Scott

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