Life cannot be an upward line of constant growth—it has dormant phases too. We sometimes experience events that halt progress unexpectedly, invisibly. Trauma and resource scarcity can end growing seasons prematurely. Unseen circumstances dictate when growth stalls, despite others' journeys. Don't judge the pause as failure—it's a natural cycle.
The Seasons of Life
Life has seasons—times of growth, times of rest, and times when it feels like nothing is moving forward no matter how much effort you put in. If you’ve been feeling stuck, unable to make progress, or just exhausted by the effort of trying, I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you.
A Lesson from Nature: The Maple Tree’s Pause
There’s a tree in my backyard that reminded me of this recently. Every other maple tree in my yard had leaves in the spring, but this one remained bare. At first, I thought it was dead. But when I snapped a small branch, I saw that it was still green inside. It was alive. It just wasn’t growing.
After some research, I learned that an early warm spell followed by a sudden frost had disrupted its natural cycle. The buds had started to grow, but the frost killed them before they could fully develop. And because a tree only gets one chance each year to bud, that meant this maple wouldn’t grow at all this season. It didn’t mean the tree was weak. It didn’t mean it was broken. It meant something outside of its control had put its growth on hold, and it would try again next year.
How Life’s Setbacks Can Halt Growth
The same thing happens to people. Sometimes, a sudden event—stress, trauma, loss, burnout—halts your ability to grow. And maybe the people around you seem to be moving forward just fine. That can make it even harder because you start wondering, “Why am I the only one struggling?” But just like my tree, different people respond to the same circumstances in different ways. It’s not a flaw. It’s just how life works.
Dormancy is Not Failure
I’ve seen this in another way too. When I bought my first home, there was a summer where my entire lawn turned brown. I thought I had killed my grass, that I had somehow failed in a way everyone else on my street had avoided. But the truth was, the grass wasn’t dead. It had gone dormant. The soil was too dry to support new growth, so the grass shut down to conserve energy. As soon as I could water it again, it came back to life.
When You’re in a Dormant Phase
We all have these dormant periods—times when we simply don’t have the resources to grow. If you are in one of those phases right now, it doesn’t mean you’re lazy or failing. It just means your energy is being used to survive. And survival is enough. Growth will come when you have what you need.
So, if you feel stuck, please be kind to yourself. Shame and guilt will only drain more of your limited energy. The more you fight against yourself, the longer this phase will last. Instead, recognize that dormancy is part of life, and when the conditions are right, you’ll grow again—just like the tree, just like the grass.
I’ve gone deeper into these steps in this video, where I talk about how to move through these difficult feelings.
-Scott
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